Mercy Wai-Ogosu, Port Harcourt
A Civil Society Organization in Rivers State, Healthy Life Development Initiative (HELDi), has been established with a focus on trauma healing for survivors of abusive relationships.
At the HELDi, a recent second Trauma Healing Circle for Survivors and Empowerment Support held at Ogale Civic Center, Eleme, Dr Mfon Utin, coordinator of HELDi, reassured participants of the need to help restore their dignity, rebuild their strength, and support their healing journey.
She said women do not need to wallow in self-pity or remain in an abusive and violent relationship, which, will in the long run impact negatively on their minds, body and emotions but instead, seek a support space.
Dr. Utin explained that the support space, is not for blame games but, a place for encouragement. Noting that every survivor deserves care, attention, respect, love and, empathy.
“You have the right to Be safe from harm and abuse, Say “no” and be heard; Access care, support, and justice and Be treated with dignity,“ she told the participants.
Speaking further. Dr. Utin stated that in sharing their stories, which should be to trusted persons, and spaces, victims, will learn coping strategies, having at the back of their minds, the fact that healing takes time and, every step forward matters.
She promised to provide an empowerment support through practical skills that could serve as a starter pack to small-scale businesses, reminding that, “When a woman is financially empowered, she can meet up her needs, make positive decisions and protect her well-being”.
A trauma expert, Sr. Bibiana Dura in her presentation, told the women that healing from trauma is a journey and not a destination and it requires patience, compassion, noting that the emotions of fear, anger, sadness, and confusion they experience are not out of place but stressed the need for courage.
Said she: “Healing after trauma is not a straight path but a journey of rediscovery, resilience and relearning one’s sense of self.”
She described trauma as a deeply distressing or destroying experience that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope adding, “By understanding trauma, embracing emotions and reclaiming identity, survivors can move forward with strength and hope”.
Sr. Bibiana said her congregation is open to offer continued psychosocial support the Sexual/Gender based Violence, SGBV survivors every Monday, Wednesday and Sunday.
The HELDi coordinator urged participants to be kind to one another and listen attentively as victims tell their stories. She advised them to show empathy and create a space of trust and compassion for the trauma persons.
The session witnessed an unburdening for the women as they narrated their experiences of physical and psychological relationship abuses that were very emotional while also exposing the vulnerability of women without economic power further constrained by a patriarchal culture that robs women of the power to have a voice.
The women’s stories revealed deep abuses in the homes, including forceful intimate relationships without consent, rights denials and even punishing spouses by refusing to take care of the needs of the children.
From one of the women, the husband did not only beat and strip her naked down to her panties outside, he threw her out of the family and seized her personal belongings, including properties they co-owned. She has been out in the cold for two months now.
Some were so horrific involving life threats, where the husband of over twenty years, will wake up, beat up his wife in public, strip her naked up to her panties, throw her out and seize her personal belongings, including , co-owned properties, for about two years now.
In another instance, to economically cripple his over 60years old wife, the husband confiscated her bicycle, the main power of her farming business. They were stories of injuries, rape, acts that truly disempower and disillusion women.
HELDi however assured them that they are not to blame and so should not be discouraged but look forward to stand again. She informed that there is the Rivers State
Health Insurance Scheme which caters for abused persons and survivors in government hospitals.
She urged women to be their sisters keepers, by reporting abuse cases to the appropriate quarters, explaining that HELDi works in collaboration/conjunction with agencies like the the Police/other security organizations, health workers, and civil society groups to ensure that the perpetrators of violence against women and girls are made to , face the law.
In line with her earlier empowerment promise, HELDi rounded the day’s activities with a practical skills acquisition session on how to make hair bands and packers. An exercise the women can use to occupy their time, make some money and escape from falling into trauma.
The non-governmental organization with office at the Ogale Civic Center, in Eleme Local Government Area of Rivers State, is coordinated by Dr. Mfon Utin, who not only provides a shoulder for traumatized women to fall on (providing space for support), but also empowers them through skills acquisition.
Next session according to the organizer, will be coming up at the end of April.
