Olu Allen
Coprophagia, that disturbing act where a human or animal eats its own faeces, has always baffled scientists.
Why, in the name of all things sanitary, would anyone return to what the body already rejected?
Yet as bizarre as coprophagia is, Nigeria has perfected its spiritual cousin: Bolaphragia, a psychological condition where people swallow the very positions, insults, and convictions they once loudly excreted. It is a full-blown epidemic.
The infection rate is high. Immunity is almost nonexistent. And honestly, even WHO cannot help us again.
Bolaphragia makes people forget their own tweets. It erases interviews. It wipes away old YouTube clips. It turns yesterday’s outrage into today’s spaghetti.
You look at the patient, shake your head, and whisper quietly, “My brother… you used to have sense. When did you start eating your own waste?”
Case study 1: Pro. Wole Soyinka — The silent sage of aa sudden sleep
This is a man I respect deeply, a venerated Nobel Laureate with a storied history of speaking truth with the sharpness of a Benin bronze spear.
When Chibok girls were taken, he thundered. When democracy staggered, he roared. Internet archives, those ruthless librarians, have his fiery takes on Goodluck Jonathan. There was no holding back.
But today? The nation burns, insecurity dances azonto across the map, and the Professor who once faced dictators has gone… quiet. Softer. Muted. As if someone pressed “Do Not Disturb” on his conscience.
Bolaphragia has a way of turning lions into indoor cats.
Case study 2: Reno Omokri — The pilgrin of principle that evaporates when near power
Ah, Reno. The former apostle of anti-Tinubu doctrine. The man who once labelled President Bola Ahmed Tinubu all sorts of unprintable names.
The one who swore, with chest, that he would never support him, never work with him, never be caught breathing beside his ideology.
Fast forward to 2025. Suddenly, new revelations have entered the chat. “Fresh evidence,” he says. “New understanding,” he claims. “Tinubu is actually performing,” he argues with the zeal of a new convert.
Reno did not just eat his words. He licked the plate, washed it, and asked the waiter for takeaway.
If hypocrisy were petrol, Reno’s tank is full and air-conditioned.
Case study 3: Bisho Mathew Kukah – Sheperd of a silenced outcry
This one pains me differently.
Bishop Kukah once cried genocide with chest. He spoke boldly for the slaughtered, the displaced, the forgotten. The pulpit shook. Nigeria listened.
But now? Many of his flock watch him dine with the very power structures under which they continue to die.
His tone has mellowed into something unrecognizable. The same events he once called genocide are now… not that deep?
Bolaphragia does not care if you are clergy. It does not care for cassocks or collars. Once it infects, conviction becomes custard.
The epidemic
Bolaphragia is spreading like harmattan fire. Men shout one thing today and whisper its opposite tomorrow under the same circumstances.
It has reached commentators, activists, pastors, ex-governors, influencers, and that your uncle who once swore he would “never vote for nonsense again.”
Nigeria is becoming a buffet of eaten-back words.
This is why politicians never fear criticism in this country, they know that with enough pressure, enough proximity to power, or enough brown envelopes disguised as “consultancy offers,” many critics will say:
“I have seen the vision. My eyes are now open.”
Yes, open, but only to their own stomachs.
What really happened?
Power happened.
Relevance happened.
Access happened.
Stomach infrastructure happened.
And the oldest disease in politics happened:
Self-preservation at the expense of integrity.
Nigeria’s problem is not just bad leadership.
It is the epidemic of Bolaphragic citizens who cannot hold their own convictions for more than one administration.
The final question
In the last days, Scripture warns, many shall become lovers of themselves. Nigeria added a remix:
“… and they shall eat their own principles and call it wisdom.”
So let me ask loudly, clearly, for the culture:
What happened to all your moral energy?
Where did your backbone go?
Who fed you your own faeces, and why did you enjoy it?
Because long after the feast, the stench remains.
Allen writes on public affairs and promote good governance and conscience.
