Olu Allen
Your Excellency, President Bola Ahmed Tinubu,
I write to you today not as a critic, but as a patriot whose spirit has been weighed down by a recent, profound continental embarrassment.
The news is in: Paul Biya—that unshakeable monument of Cameroonian politics—has done it again. Securing another term at 92 years old, after 42 years in power.
Sir, this is no longer mere democracy; this is ancestral tenure. It is a legacy written in stone, over epochs.
And as a Nigerian, I cannot stand idly by and watch Cameroon. our smaller, quieter neighbour, seize the gold medal in the Presidential Endurance Olympics.
We, the self-proclaimed Giant of Africa, cannot be caught changing leaders with the fleeting frequency of SIM cards, while others build dynasties.
This, Your Excellency, is a slight on our national pride that must not stand.
The Longevity Deficit: A National Security Emergency
Look across the continent. If Cameroon has its Biya, Uganda its Museveni, and Congo its Sassou Nguesso, then Nigeria must, by divine and political necessity, produce her own Marathoner-in-Chief.
Sir, you have heard the calling. You have built the political structure.
And, by a fortuitous alignment of destiny, you appear to have access to the necessary herbs and vitality.
We simply cannot allow Paul Biya to outlast us. This is not just politics; it is a matter of continental pride and national honour.
A Grand Vision: Introducing ‘Project 2063 – The Road to Eternal Leadership’
Therefore, I humbly propose a new, bold national vision: Project 2063.
Under this visionary initiative, we will institutionalize permanence:
· INEC shall be rebranded as INEC Infinity, with a new motto: “Elections Without Expiration.”
· Our sacred Constitution shall be upgraded with a simple, powerful clause:
“The President shall serve until further notice or divine assumption, whichever comes first.”
·
The Ministry of Youth shall be pragmatically redefined to classify any citizen under the age of 75. who can still recall their National Identification Number (NIN), as a “youth.”
·And our National Anthem shall be performed at a more stately, deliberate tempo a respectful accommodation for presidential breathing patterns and the gravity of eternal service.
Strategic Investment in Presidential Sustainability
Forget, for a moment, the mundane concerns of roads and rails. The true infrastructure of the future is you.
It is time to invest strategically in your own biological infrastructure.
I propose the immediate establishment of a Presidential Longevity Fund, dedicated to advanced herbal research, ancient supplements, and constitutional vitamins.
Appoint a Minister of Continuity and Cellular Regeneration.
Rebuild the Aso Rock medical wing into The National Center for Leadership Preservation.
If a non-giant like Paul Biya can still muster a wave for the cameras at 92, there is no reason the Giant of Africa cannot confidently aim for triple digits, with the requisite style, stamina, and swagger.
Securing Nigeria’s Rightful Place in History
Africa is watching. When Paul Biya eventually graduates to an emeritus status, the throne of the unofficial Union of Eternal Presidents (UEP) will become vacant.
Sir, that throne is your inheritance.
Let Museveni remain the Chief Whip of Perpetual Governance.
Let Sassou Nguesso keep his title as Minister of Indefinite Extension.
But the supreme title of Supreme Chairman for Life and Afterlife must belong to you, the Asiwaju of Infinity.
You must ensure that Nigeria never bows to Cameroon in any category, not in GDP, not in the sacred Jollof Rice rivalry, and certainly not in the sublime art of presidential persistence.
In Conclusion, Sir
Paul Biya has ruled for 42 years. It is, admittedly, impressive. But Nigeria can, and must, do better.
Let history one day record that:
“Paul Biya walked so that Bola Tinubu could run… and keep running.”
Therefore, Mr. President, I implore you: do not fritter away your political genius on the short-sighted goal of 2027 alone.
Think long-term. Think trans-generational. Think 2063.
After all, our national slogan already provides the perfect mandate: Renewed Hope.
Let us collectively upgrade it toRenewed Tenure.
And if any impertinent soul should dare to ask when your reign will end, you need only offer a serene, knowing smile and reply:
“I am not old. I am ongoing.”
Disclaimer: This piece is a work of political satire.
Any resemblance to divine prophecy, actual constitutional amendment, or official retirement plans is purely coincidental.
The views expressed here are patriotic, medically ambitious, and proudly Nigerian.
Allen is a writer and educator based in Kano. He writes on public affairs with a satirical lens and is a passionate advocate for good governance.
He can be reached via oluallen1904@gmail.com
